Dandelion Wishes
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: It starts with an awesome plan to prove a stupid girly theory wrong. Then it turns awesome. And then it adds new meaning to the good old saying, "Be careful what you wish for."
1. Dandelion

I heard somewhere that if you blow on a dandelion and make a wish, your wish will come true. Yeah, sounds dumb and completely not awesome. And I bet America came up with this stupid nonsense. Like during his hippie days or something. Or maybe I heard this crap from Austria.

Whatever, screw the source. It shouldn't matter where the dandelion wish idea came from. I just want to try making a stupid dandelion wish, just to see if it works. That way I can prove Austria wrong.

Well, if the dandelion wish crap came from Austria. If it didn't then I just proved some other not awesome loser wrong. And I'm quite good at making the unawesome look even more unawesome.

Okay, I'm getting somewhat full of myself. I really need to just make my stupid wish and prove that the dumb dandelion doesn't work. Then I'll go back to being my awesome self.

Duh, I'm still awesome now. It's just the nagging wonder of the dandelion wish is making my thoughts less awesome. My thoughts are always awesome. And any mind reader would totally agree with me.

But if a mind reader would read my mind when I'm thinking about stupid flowers then I wouldn't seem so awesome would I? That's why I need to just try making a crummy dandelion wish. And once I prove the wish idea false, my thoughts will stop thinking about freaking stupid flowers and my thoughts will go back to being extremely awesome beyond belief.

So, what do I wish for? Well, it shouldn't matter because it isn't going to come true anyway. I guess I could just wish for anything. But what should I wish for?

A puppy? The ability to get fingernail clippers past airport security? My own private personal theme park? A kitten with laser eyes? The ability to kill squirrels with my mind? X-ray vision? My very own porch swing?

No, all of those are ridiculous. Awesome but ridiculous. If my wish for a puppy actually came true then I would have to clean up all its little doggy droppings before West has a cow.

What am I thinking? It's not like a stupid wish for a puppy would come true. Dandelions don't grant wishes. And I shouldn't wish for something stupid like a little yapper dog.

But what would make an awesome wish? Crap, I hope there aren't any mind readers nearby. Thinking of wishes is completely girly and not awesome. And any mind reader would totally not see how awesome I am.

Dang, I really need to think of an awesome wish already. Once I prove dandelion wishes don't work, I can go back to being my awesome self. I just need to get rid of the nagging wonder of dandelion wishes, before any kind of mind reader reads my thoughts.

So, what do I wish for? It has to be awesome, but impossible. That way there would be no freaking way the stupid dandelion could grant the wish. So, what's impossible and awesome?

Uh, I don't know. Lots of things are possible now a days. So, what should I wish for that's still impossible?

"Prussia! Are you still out there?" Germany called from inside the house, interrupting my awesome thoughts. "It's about to be eighteen hundred thirty hours!"

Crap, six thirty, dinnertime. I must have been out here longer than I intended. Dang, time flies when you're thinking of girly flowers.

"Are you eating dinner with me or not?" West called again after I didn't respond for a second.

"Yeah! Don't worry I'm still awesome enough to have dinner with my little brother!" I yelled back letting go of the dandelion I was holding.

"Then you should know that we always have dinner between six and nine!" he yelled back.

Dang, OCD much? Always have dinner between six and nine. He really needs to be a little more awesome and spontaneous…

I am awesome! I just thought of a completely impossible awesome wish to try on this stupid flower! I can wish for West to be a little more spontaneous and buy me a beer, and see that wish not come true.

Ha, there's no way West will become spontaneous and buy me a beer. That would be impossible for a stupid flower to grant! So, impossible it's perfect! West would never buy me a beer; he likes his happy juice way too much. So, there's no way a stupid-

"Stop daydreaming! It's time for dinner!" Germany repeated cutting my awesome thoughts off.

"One second!" I yell back picking up the flower I dropped earlier. "I got something awesome I need to try!"

"It better be quick! I don't like to postpone things for your stupidity!"

Yeah, whatever. Proving the dandelion wish theory wrong is definitely awesome and not stupid. And once that dumb idea is proven false I can go back to having awesome thoughts.

"I wish West will buy me a beer and be a little more spontaneous," I whisper to the dandelion with my eyes closed. Then I blow the stupid seeds, or whatever the hell their called, off the dandelion.

I drop the empty steam onto the ground. There's no possible way, that wish is coming true. Now, I can just go back to having awesome thoughts.

"And now I'm coming!" I yell running towards the backdoor.

"Why are you smiling from ear to ear?" Germany asked, arms crossed, standing in the doorway of the backdoor.

"Awesome people smile like this, West," I laughed stepping around him to get inside the house.

Yeah, I don't want him knowing that I've been thinking of not awesome things like dandelion wishes. And I don't want him to know that I tried making a stupid dandelion wish. He would lecture me on hard work, before I could get a chance to explain that I was just trying to prove the theory wrong.

"Well, go set the table. That's your job. Then we will eat dinner."

Yep, there's no way my dandelion wish is going to come true. I knew dandelions weren't awesome. I'm awesome and a dandelion is not even close to being like me.

"Why are you still smiling?" Germany asked again.

"I told you, awesome people smile," I said smiling. "I could always teach you how to smile and be awesome."

"Right now it's dinner time," West stated. "And right now, you need to set the table for dinner can be served."

Ha, there is definitely no way he will ever be spontaneous. A wish like that is just too impossible. And the awesome me just proved that dandelion wishes don't work.

"Alright, I'm going to set the stupid table," I laughed going into the kitchen to get the plates.

This is just too awesomely perfect. I successfully proved that dandelion wishes don't work. I am just that awesome.

"Hey, Prussia, I just got an awesome idea!" Germany laughed from the other room as I take two glass plates from the cabinet.

I bet he's mocking me. "So, what's your awesome idea?"

"We should go to one of those drunk karaoke bars and eat nachos!" Germany laughed.

I almost drop the glass plates. West would be mad if I break those. He's just mocking me, there's not way he would suddenly decide to go to karaoke bar when he already has dinner made.

"I'll even buy you a beer!"

And after he said that I dropped the glass plates. He has to be mocking me. There is no way that this could happen!

**A/N **

**So, I was thinking of adding some words in German. Then I thought that would be stupid, since Prussia and Germany are already German and probably speak in German together. **

**So, what do you guys think? Should I continue this idea? **

**Oh, and does anybody know where the dandelion wish thing comes from? I would like to know that. **

**And remember y'all, your feedback is valuable so don't be shy about pressing that pretty review button. **


	2. Nachos

He has to be mocking me, and making fun of my overuse of the word "awesome". There is no way in hell, West would suddenly decide to go out and eat nachos. Seriously, nachos does he even eat those?

I doubt it. I've never seen him eat anything other then sausage, potatoes, cheese, and pasta Italy sometimes brings over. I really don't see him eating something awesome like nachos.

"Prussia! Seriously, bro, do you like my awesome idea?" Germany asked walking into the kitchen.

Please, please, please, don't yell at me for breaking those plates. Just ignore all the wonderful pieces of broken glass. And whatever you do don't yell at me, your voice sounds so unawesome when it's in yelling mode.

"Wow, bro, I love what you did to the kitchen!" Germany squealed. "All the broken glass encourages shoe wearing, and that's awesome!"

Did he, seriously, just squeal? What has happened to my little brother? Big guys should not squeal.

"Prussia, why are you so quiet? This isn't like you," West stated looking at me weird.

"This isn't like you," I spat. "Seriously, West, quit mocking me. Its so not awesome."

"You have such a funny voice," West laughed ignoring me. "Really, bro, let's just go get some nachos!"

"But you already have dinner ready!"

West would not even consider going out when he already has sausage made. That's just wasteful and not like him. Something is really wrong with him.

"You know, I just have this craving that only nachos can satisfy," Germany squealed. "Please, please, please, please, please, go with me to eat nachos!"

Oh my gosh, he's actually begging me to go with him. How the hell is this happening? This is so not normal for him. It has to be some sort of crazy joke.

"West, are you feeling alright?" I asked after a pause of silence.

"Dude, I have this need that can only be filled with the love of nachos," Germany answered. "Please, please, please, please, go with me. I'll look stupid if I just go by myself."

Okay, I think something has possessed my little brother. Begging me to go eat nachos with him is completely not normal for him. It has to be some sort of set up joke.

"Look, I know that you don't really want to eat nachos-"

"East! I told you, I have this extreme craving that can only be satisfied by the taste of nachos. Please, please, please, please, go with me!" he pleaded cutting me off.

"Go by yourself. I'm too awesome to fall for this prank."

"Its not a prank! I really truly want to go eat nachos with you. Please, please, please go with me," West begged. "I'll look like such a loser by myself."

How could this not be a prank? He has to be joking with me. There is no possible way that he would want to take me, to go eat nachos with him. This has to be some sort of unawesome obvious prank.

"Please just go with me! It won't be long," Germany pleaded. "I'll even buy you a beer."

Damn, it must be killing my little brother to act like this. Whoever set up this prank has to be paying, West, big bucks. Germany, really doesn't like giving away beer.

"How much are they paying you?"

"Huh?"

"The unawesome people that set up this obvious prank. How much are they paying you?"

"Nobody's paying me anything," West explained. "I just really want to eat nachos."

He's lying. This has to be some sort of prank. It's too not like West, to be possible. I wonder who set this whole prank up…

I am awesome! I got an awesome idea! I should just go with West. Since I'm aware and on watch, this prank will surely fail. And the unawesome will look even more unawesome. This is brilliantly awesome like me!

"Please, please, please, please, go with me. I'll be on my best behavior and won't embarrass you or anything," Germany pleaded.

He's kind of adorable when he's begging for something. What am I thinking, this is probably the first time he's begged for something. Whatever, this is just strangely adorable for him.

"Sure, I'll go with you-"

"Hurray!" Germany cheered hugging me, and cutting me off. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Get off me!" I yelled breaking the hug. "Seriously, how much are they paying you to act like this?"

"Sorry, East, its just that I'm so happy that we are going to get nachos!" West cheered ignoring the question.

"Yeah, whatever, you're still going to buy me a beer, right?"

"Of course! Of course! Hell, I'll even buy you two beers!"

Two beers? Damn, they must be paying him big. I better record this, that way I can still get my beers after I expose this, obvious, prank.

"Can you say that again after I press record?" I asked taking out my phone.

"Say what again?"

"That you are going to buy me two beers," I answered holding my phone towards him.

"Okay, I Germany-"

"Wait, I need to hit record first," I said stopping him.

"Sorry," he apologized as I hit record.

"Okay say it, West, I got it recording now."

"I, Germany, promise to buy Prussia not one but two beers," Germany said into the phone.

"Awesome!" I cheered cutting off the recording.

Go me and my awesomeness! Now Germany's has to buy me a beer, after I expose this obvious prank. I am so awesome!

"Hey, can borrow some of your clothes?"

"Huh?" Is he really asking to borrow some of my clothes?

"Well, I don't want the chicks, we are going to hit on, thinking that I'm your dad or something."

Great, now I'm wondering if people mistake Germany as my dad. Seriously, he's my little brother. But he's a lot bigger than me; so I guess people might accidently think he's older than me.

"So can I borrow some of your clothes?" he asked again.

"Would they even fit you?"

"I don't know. My wardrobe is just too formal for picking up chicks."

Damn, is he really going to attempt to pick up a chick? That is so not like him. He really is taking this acting to the extreme.

"You can try on something, but I don't think it will fit you. I'll make your hair look awesome if you want," I offered.

That has to get him to crack. Nobody likes their hair being messed with. He's going to start saying this is all a prank really soon.

"Alright! That sounds awesome! I want my hair to look just like yours!" Germany squealed.

Wait what? I thought that would make him crack. Damn, those unawesome losers have to be paying him big money.

"No, my hair style is sort of my thing."

"Then can you give me a mohawk?"

"You want me to shave your head?" Wow, they have to be paying him big.

"Yeah, to make it into mohawk. That's sure to help me pick up chicks!"

"Okay, I'll give you a mohawk."

"Awesome!" Germany cheered.

Ha, I bet he's going to crack as soon as I put a razor to his head. This is obviously a prank. I'm just sort of surprised on how far he's going with it. But, whatever, the awesome me will expose this stupid joke soon.

**A/N **

**Out of character Germany is fun to write. Oh, and does anybody else think Germany looks like he can be Prussia or Italy's dad? **

**Don't forget y'all, your feedback is valuable so don't be shy about hitting that pretty review button. **

**And if you notice a grammar mistake, point it out. That way I can fix it, and improve my grammar. I wrote this chapter without an editor, so yeah, there might be a mistake somewhere. **


	3. Unawesome

He's going to crack. I know it. Right when I place this razor close enough to his head, he's going to crack. This is all a prank. There is no way West would willingly let me shave off his hair.

So, why do I feel so nervous about putting a razor near my little brother's head? Its not like he's going to break my arm off. He's probably not even going to let me shave his head.

"Tick, tock. Prussia, look at the clock!" Germany sang as I hooved the razor over his head. "Tick, tock. Look at the clock!"

Is my serious little brother who is serious actually singing? What the crap? I thought serious people lacked the happy emotion that allows them to sing happily.

"Tick, tock! Tick, tock! Ticky, tocky, tock!" West sang clapping his hands like some strange little kid. "Look, looky, at the clock!"

"Huh?" I asked turning my head to the clock. "It just says six thirty-eight. Why-"

"Oh dear my sweetheart goodness!" Germany gasped. "Its later than I thought!"

Did he really just gasp like a little girl? "Uh, West, are you feeling all right?"

"No! How could I feel all right? The clock has just informed us that we better hustle our way out of here!"

"Hustle our way out of here? What are you talking about?" I asked confused and slightly disturbed. "Is some other country about to invade or something?"

"Worse!" Germany cried standing up from his chair. "We might miss seven o'clock happy hour!"

What the unawesome Austrian crap? Seven o'clock happy hour? I knew my brother liked drinking as much as me, but this is just ridiculous. An invasion is a million times worse than missing happy hour. And what kind happy hour is at an early time like seven?

"Come on East, we have to hit the bar right when happy hour starts!" West said screaming, grabbing my arm, and pulling me out of the bathroom with him.

"Wait!" I yelled dropping the razor on the ground by accident. "Don't you want me to shave your head into a mohawk?"

"There isn't time. We have to get to the bar now! Happy hour depends on us!" he said panicking pulling me along with him.

"What do you mean it depends on us?" I asked struggling to pull my arm out of his grip. Damn, he's strong.

"Well, duh, happy hour would be totally unawesome without us!"

Is he mocking me again? Seriously, what the hell? Unawesome is my own word, that Microsoft Word doesn't recognize as a word, he shouldn't be using it.

"West, just please come clean. I know this is all just a unawesomely planned obvious prank," I pleaded as he kept pulling me along with him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked innocently as he happily tugged me along with him.

"This really isn't awesome. Please, just come clean before you make a total ass out of yourself."

"You're so weird," Germany laughed ignoring my plea, pulling me out the front door with him. "And could you stop dragging your feet? We would be moving so much faster if you well actually tried to keep up."

"Why don't you just let go of my arm?" I spat as he let go of my arm. "Seriously, what the hell is going on in your head?"

"Awesome thoughts on awesome stuff that your not as awesome brain wouldn't be able to comprehend."

What the unwanted Austrian unawesome shit? Is my brother trying to impersonate me or something? That's just not awesome.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked stopping.

"Never better!" he cheered turning around to face me. "Dude, East, why are you stopping? We have to get to the bar!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you really going to go this far just make a total ass of yourself? Seriously, you can't humiliate me with this obvious prank!"

"Huh?" he asked acting all innocent.

The key word is "acting" he's totally getting paid to make a complete ass out of himself.

"West, don't play dumb with me. Just cut it out before you humiliate yourself."

"I'm confused. This is really out of character for you. I really thought-"

"Excuse me? This is unawesomely out of character for you! Seriously, one second your not yourself and singing about clocks, then the next second your dragging me out of the house with you in total panic mode. Then your demanding I keep up with your stupid pace. And now your acting all confused like I'm the crazy out of character one! You're the crazy out of character one!"

Oh goodness, did I seriously just snap at my little brother like some unawesome "you're not the father" television program thing? Oh my goodness, he's giving me the puppy dog eyes. I didn't know he was capable of the puppy dog eyes…

Ugh, that's not important. I just insulted my little brother in a really not awesome way. I need to make things right, before they get worse.

"Uh, its okay West. I'm sure that we will still be able to make happy hour," I said in this somewhat apologizing voice.

"Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!" Germany squealed, jumping up and down, eyes lighting up like fireworks. "I knew you would totally be down with getting a beer!"

Is he bipolar or something? One second he's giving me the puppy dog eyes and the next second he's cheering like some demented kid going to Disney World. Something is really wrong with him.

"Are you in hyper mode now or something?"

"LOL. I think we should race to the bar!" West smiled crackling like a goose.

"Race?"

"Yeah. One, two, three go!" Germany exclaimed sprinting off.

I guess I better follow him before he really does make a total ass out of himself. I really can't believe how far he's going to go with this. It has to be an obvious prank; this behavior is just too weird to be coming from a silly flower wish.

**A/N **

**Tada! Sorry for this chapter being somewhat late. You can blame my distractions for that. **

**Anyway, don't forget to review. Feedback is always valuable, especially if it helps me become a better writer. So, really don't be shy about pointing out any grammar mistakes I might have made. **


	4. Ducks

The German language needs to combine forces with the English language to create a stronger word than random. Just simple "random" won't even be enough to begin to describe how strange Germany is being. Seriously, how much is he getting paid for act like this?

The amount has to be big. Like needs another paper to write all those zeros big. No, wait it has to be bigger than that. My brother is all about being serious and keeping a serious face; they have to be paying him an amount that's so big that it needs to be written out in scientific notation.

The amount of money has to be really big, because I really don't think anybody, as serious as West, would randomly decide to eat nachos at a karaoke bar. Then randomly decide to get an extreme haircut just to impress some random chicks at a karaoke bar. Then randomly decide not to get that haircut. Then randomly decide to run all the way to a karaoke bar. Then randomly decide to quit running a feed some randomly placed ducks with some random bread that's randomly being carried around. Who carries bread around in their pocket anyway? And where the hell did all these ducks come from?

"I'm going to call you Captain Webby Feet!" West squealed as he handed one of the ducks another piece of bread. "And you are going to be General Taste-Better-Roasted!"

Damn, my little brothers naming skills suck. I would have given those two ducks a much more awesome sounding name. Something completely awesome like Junior Prussia or Prussia Junior or…

What the hell am I thinking? Why would I even consider naming a freaking duck after my awesome self? They don't deserve to be named after my awesomeness.

"But the one little duck with the feather on his back- He led the others with a quack, quack, quack!" Germany sang handing over more random bread to the ducks. "That's you Captain Webby Feet! You're the one little duck that leads the others with a quack, quack, quack!"

"You're being a overachiever. I don't think the unawesome loser, who set up this prank, is paying you to sing."

"Wibble wobble, wibble wobble to and fro," West sang ignoring me. "But the one little duck with the feather on his back- He led the others with a quack, quack, quack!"

Yeah, something is really wrong with my brother. And where is he getting all that bread? Its like his pockets are black hole to a never ending supply of bread. I think that's the fourth piece of bread he's pulled out of his pockets.

"Quack, quack, quack! Quack, quack, quack!" Germany sang while dancing in some duck version of the chicken dance. "Ah, don't look at me like that, General Taste-Better-Roasted. You'll get a song too-"

"Why are you singing to freaking ducks?" I ask as West stops dancing.

"Didn't you learn your rudiments, silly?"

"Huh?" What the hell is a rudiment?

"Singing to ducks makes them stronger. The duck is the only animal in the animal kingdom that can digest living blubber, and the stronger the duck the more blubber it can eat. And the more living blubber the duck eats the safer the world is for underage drivers."

Living fat of sea mammals? Did I hear him right? "Seriously how much is this unawesome loser paying you? I don't think you can even find an explanation that dumb sounding on Wikipedia."

"Ha, you know I prefer decaf," West said laughing. "Anyway, would you like to sing a song to General Taste-Better-Roasted with me?"

"No." Is he really asking me to waste some of my awesome talent on giving a stupid duck a private concert?

"Why not? Captain Webby Feet got an awesome song and General Taste-Better-Roasted feels really jealous. So, I need your help to top Captain Webby Feet's song!"

"West, it's just a stupid duck-"

"You really didn't learn your rudiments," Germany spat cutting me off, and losing his out of character cheery smile.

"What does that have to do with anything?" And what the hell is a rudiment?

"If you would have learned your rudiments better, then you wouldn't have called Captain Webby Feet and General Taste-Better-Roasted stupid. Now apologize to my duckling friends."

"Are you, seriously, commanding me to apologize to a couple of stupid ducks?"

Oh shit, now he's giving me his deluxe "if you don't give me what I want I'll burn you alive" death stare. God, I can't take that stare. Last time I saw it I woke up the next day half naked in Denny's parking lot-

Shit, the death stare just got turned up a notch. God, if I don't apologize to that stupid duck, I might find myself half naked in another Denny's parking lot. Or worse I might find myself half naked, with my pants missing rather than my shirt, in an airport parking lot. Oh god, that would be terrible-

Major shit, the death stare is increasing in even more notches. That's not good. God, if I don't apologize to that duck, then I'm going to find myself completely naked in a dumpster tomorrow.

"Uh, Captain Tasted-Better-Roasted…" I can't believe I'm really doing this. "I'm so so sorry that I-"

"Bazinga!" West laughed, cutting off my insane stuttering. "LOL. I totally had you going! You should have seen your face! It was priceless!"

What just happened here? Seriously, what just happened here? One second he's angry and commanding me to apologize to stupid ducks and the next he's laughing and saying "bazinga". What the hell is "bazinga"?

"Dude you're killing me! Seriously, stop making that face! I think I'm going to die of laugher!" Germany laughed slapping his knee.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Damn, I really should carry a camera around like Hungary and Japan. Your face was just priceless!" Germany crackled harder as the random ducks flew away.

Was that the prank? I don't think it was, because it was just too stupid. Yeah, any prank not designed by me is stupid, but this one was just too stupid. I don't think that was the prank.

"Come on, bro, let's get back to our nacho adventure!"

Yeah, this prank isn't over yet. My guard isn't going to go down. My awesomeness is going to expose this prank in the most awesome way ever. And the unawesome is going to look even more unawesome.

**A/N **

**Bazinga - is a word that came form the American television show "The Big Bang Theory." It means fooled you. **

**Rudiments – are the basic elementary school principals. **

**And as always, reviews are not necessary but they make me smile and motivate me to write more. Oh, and if my dyslexia made a mistake please bring it to my attention. Thanks! **


	5. Drink Names

I'm waiting for the punch line. I've been sitting in this bar for some time, and nobody has jumped out and yelled something stupid like "Gotcha!" The big moment has to be coming soon. Whoever set this up, already got Germany to act so out of character with those ducks.

Its just surprising how far West is taking his role in this prank. Its either he's being an overachiever or the unawesome loser is paying him with jackpot amount of money. I wonder who set this up...

Well, Austria would love to humiliate me. But, that whiny boy lacks the imagination to come up with something like this. So, it can't be him.

Hungary has the imagination. But, she has the wrong type of imagination. Photoshopping me doing some acrobatic thing with...

God, bad mental image! Really bad mental image! I shouldn't be able to bend my leg like that...

Crap, the mental image is still in my head. Why did she have to make that photo so realistic? And why can't the damn picture just leave my head already?

And my mind is getting off track again. Okay, I just need to figure out who the unawesome loser, who set up this prank, is. Once I figure that out I can expose this stupid prank.

It can't be Austria. Germany would never agree to do a prank for that freeloader. And it can't be Hungary because her imagination is too much of... a scary thing. So, who does that leave left?

It can't be France. He's my friend, and he's probably too busy harassing that Brit to put effort into a prank like this. And even if he could put the effort into it, West would never act like this for him.

Well, maybe France could get my little bro to act like this with enough blackmail and beer. It's not too hard to get blackmail on my bro. All you have to do is talk to Italy.

But, even if France talked to Italy and got some good dirt, why would he pull a prank on me? As far as I know the player doesn't have anything against me...

Okay, I might have threated to stick an umbrella up his ass and open it. But, he was asking for it at the time, and I didn't actually do it. Besides, I've said way worse things to Austria.

Oh, good times, good times. Once I told him that his left nipple was higher than his right nipple. The face he made was priceless! Another time I told him that-

"Hey, East?" Germany asks interrupting trip down memory lane. "You haven't touched your beer. Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh." Damn, how did I not notice the beautiful beer in front of me?

Seriously, it's even the brand that sings to me. How the hell did I not notice the sexy beautiful bottle in front of me? I must be sick or something, because that's the kind of beer that would be a hot sexy lady if it somehow turned human.

"If you aren't going to drink it can I have it?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks!"

Shit, did I seriously just give away that sexy bottle? Something is really wrong with me. How the hell is he drinking a beer that fast anyway? That bottle's practically empty and it's only been like two seconds!

"So, are you feeling okay?" Germany asks once the sexy liquid is missing from the sexy bottle.

"I'm fine," I lie.

"You sure? Cause we've been at this bar for over an hour and you haven't touched anything. I'm worried about you."

Why would he be worried about me? "Don't be."

"You're just not being yourself. Normally, when we go drinking you get really drunk, and go the restroom for a suspiciously long amount of time, and come back with hickey on your neck..."

Damn. I didn't think anybody noticed my love marks; I got from random chicks I never learned the names of. I wonder what else people notice about me.

"You're just not being yourself," he repeats worryingly.

Oh goodness, he's worried about me. That's never a good thing. He never really worried about me before, so him worrying about me now can't be a good thing. I need to get him to stop worrying about me.

"I want a beer." I really don't want a beer.

Germany smiles. "I'll go get it!"

Wow, that was easy. One second he's all worried about me, and the next second he's skipping off to go get me a beer. There is something strangely cute about West skipping...

Oh goodness, what the hell is going though my head? Germany is skipping like a little girl, and I'm finding this cute? What the hell is wrong with me?

I should be thinking about how soon the world will end. West skipping should be a sign that the end is near. People like him really shouldn't skip, even if they're holding a cute little basket...

Did I seriously just get a mental image of my little brother skipping around with a basket? And did I seriously just find that mental image adorable? Damn, I'm thinking like a drunken person and I haven't even had a drink yet...

Speak of the devil.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I got you one of everything!" Germany squeals setting a tray full of drinks on the table.

"Thanks."

"What do you want first?" Germany asks.

I'm supposed to drink all of them? "Uh..."

"This one is called 'Wake up Call', and this one is 'Sparkling Sunrise'. That one is 'Jungle Juice' and the one next to it is 'Apple Pie Punch'. The bigger glass is 'Baltimore Zoo' and the one next to that is called 'Strawberry Ice'..."

How did all those drinks fit on that tray? Seriously, that's a lot of drinks, and that's a tiny tray. How did they all fit?

"...And this one is called 'Nuts and Berries' and this one is 'Water Moccasin'. Oh, and the one in the funny looking bottle is 'Dixie Car Bomb'..."

How did he memorize all these names? Seriously, that's a freaking crap load drink of names. I never learned the names of my poison. Cause, what's in a name? If it gets me drunk why should I care what it's called?

"...That's a 'Lemon Drop' and this one is a 'Ruby Relaxer'. This is a 'Jager Bomb' and this one is called 'Scooby Snack'. Oh, and that's a 'Pensacola Bushwacker'..."

Who comes up with these names anyway? And why do they all sound so ridiculous?

"..That's a 'Hummingbird' and this one is called 'Squashed Frog'-"

"I'll try that one!" I say cutting his rambling off.

Yeah, I was getting annoyed of all the drink names. And drinking a "Squashed Frog", kind of sounded like a fun idea.

"Awesome!" Germany cheers and hands me the drink.

Hopefully, this won't taste awful.

**A/N**

**If ya notice a grammar mistake, please point it out. Thanks! **


	6. M Or The Random Chick

Damn, I feel like something died in my mouth. Then came back to life, to give birth to more disgusting taste. Then died again to taste even worst than something that Brit can make.

"Your face is just adorable!" Germany squeals. "I take it that you really like your mixed drink."

I smile and resist the urge to spit the 'Squashed Frog 'out of my mouth. "Yeah, I didn't know that..." I frown and pause. "Uh... what the hell was in this thing?"

West laughs. "Melon liqueur and some sort of Irish ice cream."

It didn't taste like melon liqueur and Ireland style ice cream. It tasted more like sconces and avocados. I really hate sconces, and I never liked avocados.

Well, that's a bit of a lie. I might of liked avocados before. It's just that when that iron curtain thing was up, I was forced to live with Russia, and Belarus made this thing that used avocados, Skittles, and cough medicine-

"East, you're doing it again," Germany says cutting off my thoughts.

I set my repulsing, disgusting, awful drink back down on the table. "Doing what?"

"Zoning out," he answers. "Are you zoning out because the mixed drink I gave you is so wonderful?"

"Sure."

He laughs. "Well, I'm so glad you love it!" He stands up from the booth. "Want me to go get you another one?"

"That would be awesome," I lie making him go off to get me another gross mixed drink.

Now that West is gone its time for some ultimate awesome thinking time! Yeah, that sounded a little dorky. I'm glad that mind readers don't exist.

Anyway, first thought question, how long is this prank going to last? I know that this is all a prank. Everybody would love to bring the awesome Prussia to humiliation.

Its jealousy that makes the rest of the world act like an asshole. Not everybody in this world can be as-

Scratch that, nobody can be as awesome as me. It's a fact of life. And it should be a rudiment taught in elementary schools after those brats pledge that I'm the most awesome being on earth.

What am I thinking about? Teaching elementary school students about how awesome I am would result in lots of kids exploding their heads off. I'm just that freaking awesome, that learning about me would blow the mind of children, literally.

And now I'm getting really full of myself. Maybe I should just find some random chick, and have her occupy my time and mind, until I learn her name.

Yeah, once I learn the name of a chick its over. Knowing the name of a random person makes them less of a random person. And once they aren't a random person to me, they have somewhat of a relationship with me.

And a relationship can move quickly and get really serious fast. To avoid the seriousness of a relationship, I leave. I don't know. I just don't want anything to get serious. I never want to get married.

Shit, I'm wasting time I could be using to talk to some random chick. All my looking around is going to make all these random chicks think that I'm sort of emotionless loner. That's going to keep some of the honeys from talking to me.

Wait! That could work. I could pretend that I just came out of a really intense breakup. I bet that cat looking red headed chick, sitting by herself, would love cheering me up.

Yeah, this is a good idea. Making myself seem oblivious to this prank could make it end much faster. Germany is still at the counter, so I should talk to this chick before he comes back to give me another one of those avocado sleeping with scones drinks.

I leave the booth and walk over to the redhead. "I hate to tell you this, girly, but you look just like my ex," I say using my best sad voice and wearing my best sad face.

She frowns. "Lame pickup line."

Her accent sounds like it came from one of those rebel states in America. That means I'm talking to an American. That's good news-

"Sweetheart, are you just going to stare at my tits?" she asks making me realize that I was staring at her chest. "Or are you going to sit down, try another pickup line, buy me a drink, and try to get me drunk enough to go home with you?"

I smile and take a seat. "I'll spare you from hearing one of my other awesome pickup lines, and I don't take chicks I meet in bars home with me." I wave to a bartender.

"Good. Last time I went home with a guy, I got a ring, and a child. And lost it all almost two years later." She laughs as the bartender starts walking over.

Way to pick them, Prussia. Out of all the babes I could have picked to talk to, I pick the single mom. Well, at least she's American. That'll keep her from asking too many questions about me for the next two hours.

Yeah, my relationships with random chicks only last for two hours. Sometimes less. I like to stop things before anything becomes too serious.

"How may I help you?" the bartender guy asks. He turns to the redhead. "Hey, M."

This chick's name is M. No, wait, that's probably just a nickname. How does she know the bartender anyway? Ugh, that's not important! This is already far too much information for me to have on this chick.

"Hello, Bernt," she tells the bartender. "If you don't mind, I would like it if you were a background character for the rest of the night."

The bartender or Bernt laughs. "This pale skinny guy going to try to get lucky?"

"Pale skinny guy?" I raise an eyebrow.

M or the redhead ignores me. "Not, helping Bernt."

The bartender chuckles and takes out two bottles of booze. "All right, I'll be a background character to help this random guy have a chance with you." He hands me a bottle. "I would go after the blonde in the second booth if I were you," he adds to me.

Bernt hands M a bottle and of booze. She takes it. "You just don't want me to get free alcohol." Bernt leaves to take care of some other customers. M turns to me. "So, what's your story?"

I laugh and open my bottle. "I'm just some random guy that's looking for some random chick, to keep me from thinking for the next few hours or so."

"Glad that you have the smarts to not pick Hollywood." She points to the blonde in the second booth. "Anyway, why do you not want to think?"

I sigh. "My brother teamed up with some unawesome loser, and wants to play a prank on me."

Crap, why did I just tell her that?

"So, you need some random chick to keep you oblivious looking. That way this random prank ends faster, and you'll be able to expose it and go home?" she asks. "Did I get that right?"

How the hell is this chick American? Seriously, that was a smart answer!

"You hit the nail on the head, princess." I move my stool closer to her. "Want to make out?"

She pushes me away. "Maybe after a few shots." She takes a sip of her drink. "Right now, you're looking far too pale and skinny looking for my liking."

"Excuse me?" Far too pale and skinny for your liking? I'm a sexy beast, lady!

"Let me get you looking a little darker and fatter," she says then drinks more of her drink.

Damn, this chick is strange. I probably should have gone with the blonde in the second booth.

"Hey! East!" West calls before I can think of anything else. "Whose your lady friend?"

My lady friend... Crap, I mean M... No, I mean the random chick I'm talking too laughs. "Your brother?" she asks me.

"Yeah," I answer as Germany starts walking over.

"Hey, sweetheart," she says to West the moment he joins us. "Your brother is feeling really paranoid that you're going to..." She pauses. "Well, he didn't say what the prank is. The point is, you might want to call it quits."

Bitch. I just needed a chick to make out with to speed this prank up. I don't need some bitch trying to persuade my brother out of a prank.

Germany looks confused. "I'm confused."

"Nice acting," she spits. "But, you might want to give your bro a break. I think all these pranks you've been playing on your little bro-"

I cut her off. "Actually, I'm the older brother."

"He just doesn't come across as a mature older guy," West adds.

"Hey!"

She frowns then smiles. "Okay, well little brother stop pranking older brother," she says to Germany. "These pranks are turning him whiter than a ghost, and are keeping him from eating."

Typical mother person giving a freaking lecture. I'm really regretting picking her to talk to now.

"I don't prank my older brother."

You're pranking me right now! Or at least trying to. It isn't going to work. I'm aware of this prank, and I'm too awesome for it to actually work anyway.

"That's a lie!" I yell letting my thoughts make an outburst. "Cut the crap out now, West! You and whoever set this lame prank are making it way too obvious!"

M looks at me then turns to my brother. "You might-"

"Shut up! I don't need one of your mother-like lectures," I cut her off. "West is just trying to make me believe that my freaking wish on a stupid flower actually worked!"

**A/N**

**Anybody know what M is short for? **

**Now its up to you to point out any grammar mistakes I might have made. **

**Reviews are my currency. Help me become a millionaire. **


	7. Blocked Again

M tilts her head to the side. "Wish on a flower? I thought it was wish on a star."

"He's been acting funny all day," West adds. "Oh, I never got your name-"

M, or the random chick since I'm not one hundred percent sure of her name, laughs. "Knowing that is just a question away-"

I cut her off. "I don't care what your name is M! You're not important here! What's important is that Germany is taking this whole prank thing too far!"

"Germany?" M raises an eyebrow. "I could tell from your accent that you're German, but seriously your first name is Germany?"

My brother laughs, and like M ignores my outburst. "Or you could tell that I was German because you are at a German bar in Germany."

She chuckles. "True. But seriously is your first name really Germany?"

"You guys are both stupid!" I yell mad that they are ignoring me. "I just openly had a outburst like a silly junior high school girl, and you guys aren't going to say anything about it?"

"I don't know if I can trust you with such information," Germany says still ignoring me like the little brother he is. "You haven't told me your name yet."

"You haven't asked, handsome."

I can't believe that I'm actually witnessing this. M was supposed to be my uh… my person to give me a hickey. Do they have a word for a person who gives a hickey? And if they do what's the person who receives a hickey called?

Ugh, again with the thinking of unimportant information. The point is, Germany is openly flirting with this American chick. And somehow this American chick isn't shitting herself and flirting back with him. Did I miss something here?

"Its Mabel, right?" West asks.

She smiles. "Nope."

"Well, you got to give me some more info. All I know is that it starts with a M."

"Its six letters."

"Merry?"

"That's only five letters."

"You could spell it with an 'ie' instead of a 'y'-"

"True, but my names not Merrie."

I didn't think my brother was capable of flirting. That dandelion has to have some sick power to turn my brother into this Spaniard like guy. Oh, crap the dandelion.

I should be thinking about how that dandelion mojo is going to effective my life. If West is taking all the honeys who's going to satisfy my needs?

Crap, now I'm falling for it. That dandelion didn't do dilly squat. My little brother's behavior is all just a prank. There is no way some sort of stupid flower could make my brother turn into a completely different person.

"Marissa?" Germany sits in the bar stool next to M.

"Too many letters, gorgeous."

Did she seriously just call my brother gorgeous? I can't believe a woman is actively flirting with my brother. Until now only women with mustaches could actually have a conversation with my brother without shitting themselves.

"I'm going to need another hint," West says giving a crooked smile. "What does it rhyme with?"

I seriously can't believe this. My little uptight brother actually knows how to flirt. I should be excited for his sudden change to be more awesome. I've always thought it would be cool for us to be each other's wingmen. But for some odd reason this sucks more than not getting cake on my birthday.

I don't know. Maybe I've been so worked up with trying to expose this whole prank that I've become more like Germany. I don't think that makes any sense.

"Is older brother okay?" M asks turning to face me. "He looks really pale."

Oh shit. Am I getting sick?

"He always looks pale. He's naturally paled skinned."

Well that's a freaking ball of niceness, Germany. Remind me to complement how lovely your body fits in a coffin at your funeral.

"I know that, but he looks paler than before," M says facing West for a second. "Are you okay, darling?" she asks me once she turns her head back.

Am I okay?

"Prussia are you feeling all right?"

Am I feeling all right? I really don't know. I just came to the realization that my brother might be stuck in this new personality for the rest of my life.

"Why isn't he talking?"

That's a good question. Why aren't I talking? It's not like me to be quiet like this.

"This really isn't like East."

"I could call my old roommate," M says taking a phone out of her pocket. "She's a nurse. She might know what's going on."

Okay, now would be a good time to say something. Like before they both start thinking that I'm a total basket case. I don't need M calling her old roommate.

My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes.

What if this roommate is a babe? Like hotter than this redhead, M? And what if M invites her roommate to give me some "therapy"? That would be nice.

"I don't think you need to burden your friend with my brother's silly behavior."

Way to cock block me again West. I would have been making out with M if you didn't show up to ruin it. Now I'm given an opportunity to get some treatment from another smoking babe and you just jerkily not allow it?

Okay maybe I'm being a little extreme. I don't even know if this old roommate is a smoking hot babe. And I don't even know if she's a female.

M puts her phone back in her pocket. "Well, if you say so. Its probably sleep time back home in Mississippi. And Shelly is probably sleeping. She has a very productive life. Working as a nurse all day, and teaching belly dancing at night. She needs every ounce of sleep she can get."

"Germany I'm going to rip out your guts with a spork!"

West frowns. "That's a bit extreme."

"You totally just cock blocked me again!"

"Huh?"

"I could have been making out with M, but no you showed up and made me look stupid," I rant, "then I could have been give some intimate medical treatment by some belly dancer named Shelly! But no you said it wasn't necessary. I can't believe I'm staying quiet-"

"You might want to stop yelling," M says making me realize that I just ruined my stay silent routine.

"You know what this is the sort of thing I expect from Austria," I say standing up from my seat. "I'm going to find another dandelion and make some new wishes. The world doesn't need cock blockers, and bitchy redheads. Actually, the world doesn't need anybody except me. If it was just me the world would be a awesome place."

Surprising nobody yells "Gotcha!" as I walk out of the bar. I was sort of expecting that outburst would put an end to this stupid prank. But how could an end be put this stupid prank, if there wasn't a stupid prank to begin with?

**A/N**

**Sorry it's been awhile. Costa Rica, college, and getting used to being a adult have pretty much consumed my free time. **

**Remember, reviews are a magical thing that increases the likelihood of this story being finished.**

**And feel free to point out grammar mistakes. **


	8. Kicked Out

I can't believe I was able to walk though that entire parking lot without anybody saying anything. Seriously, I thought Austria, Hungary, or some random jerkaraptor was just going to jump out from some random car to yell "Gotcha!".

Maybe that dandelion did actually have some "when you wish upon a star" magical ability crap. Maybe I'm really going to have to accept the fact that Germany is capable of flirting and capable of being loose and spontaneous. Maybe I'm going to have live with the consequences of my silly dandelion wish.

Crap, now I'm starting to sound like the Hallmark channel. I can't believe I'm letting myself think that blowing a dandelion and making a wish turned my brother into a completely different person. That is in no way shape or form possible.

I'm seriously just kidding myself. This is all just a prank, and the unawesome loser that set this whole thing up is paying my brother big bucks to act like this. This has to be a prank.

I know my brother and I know what's he's capable of. He's not capable of being spontaneous and fun, but if he's given enough money he might be able to be capable. I bet for every second he's not being paid he's not keeping his character. Hell, I bet West is breaking character right now.

Well, duh, of course he's breaking character right now. This prank probably just requires him to act spontaneous when I'm around him. And right now he's inside the bar, while I'm angrily walking along side the border of the parking lot. He's utterly not around me right now.

I should walk back to the bar and catch Germany being the uptight unspontaneous person that he is. He would never suspect that. Right now he probably thinks that I'm just PMSing and walking back home to pick up another dandelion.

Wow, I bet that's when the big "Gotcha!" is going to happen. The moment I pick up that second dandelion this prank is going to be over and Austria going to jump out with a camera or something.

I'm too awesome to let that happen. I'm going to walk back into that bar, catch West breaking his character he's getting paid to be, and expose this whole prank. You don't play pranks on the awesome Prussia. The awesome Prussia plays pranks on you.

Did I seriously just make a Soviet Russia style joke? Ugh, whatever, that's not important what is important is that I catch Germany acting exactly like himself.

Damn, why didn't I come up with this plan sooner? Walking though this parking lot sucks squirrel eggs. Seriously, this is like an American grocery store size parking lot.

Actually, I think that Wal-Mart place America is creepily fond of might have a smaller parking lot than this. Whose dumb idea is it to make a parking lot this big anyway?

Ugh, never mind. Pointing the finger at the jackass who invented the large parking lot isn't going to make walking though the parking lot any faster. Thankfully, I'm almost done with the demon journey though the parking lot.

Man, I really hate walking around by myself. It makes me look like a forever-alone guy. And the awesome Prussia is in no way shape or form a forever-alone guy. I can always find a honey to satisfy me.

Okay, sure I didn't get to make-out with M. But that's only because my little brother is getting paid to cock block me. I'm sure if West didn't show up I would be sucking M's face right now.

Yay! I made it back to the bar. Now time to awesomely expose this prank in the most awesome manner possible. Let's open this door and get down to business.

"Did you forget something?" a babe worker asks.

"Yeah, I forgot to take your virginity with me," I answer her.

She glares at me. "You're a pervert."

Come on brain; give me a comeback to this comment. I can't just leave this bitch with the last word.

"You're wasting my time, toots," I say walking past her.

Okay, I could have come up with a better comeback if I was given more time. I could have asked to see her manager 'cause she just insulted a customer. Or I could have just called her a whore.

And now I'm wasting my time again. I came back to this bar to expose a stupid prank, not think about what comebacks I could have used against a worker. Wow, I'm really good at getting distracted.

"That's crazy!" Germany laughs sitting in the same spot I left him in earlier.

"Well, what would you have done if you were in that situation?" M asks.

West thinks for a second. "I guess I would have done the exact same thing you did."

"My point exactly."

What the heck? I thought my little brother would be breaking character. Why is he still flirting with the redhead babe? Damn, I should have known my brother was going to overachieve on this.

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask joining them back at the table.

"Oh, Miriam was just telling about the time she took her son to Disney World."

I frown. "M is short for Miriam."

"Yes it is, older brother. Little brother here was smart enough to figure out my name on his own." She smiles and squeezes West's hand.

Wait a second. M, I mean, Miriam is holding my brother's hand? How the hell did that happen?

"I thought you were leaving," Germany says squeezing Miriam's hand back.

Am I seriously witnessing this? My uptight little brother is actually holding hands with a girl. How the hell is that possible?

"I did leave," I answer trying not to stare at the handholding I'm witnessing.

"Did that flower theory of yours work, sweetheart?"

Did that flower theory of mine work? Did she seriously just ask me that? It's like she's part of this prank, and wants me to admit that I believe in dandelion wishes.

"Damn, I should have known you were also in on this M. Or Miriam or whatever codename they gave you."

M raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"There's no way a female can actually flirt with my brother without shitting herself. Hell, I bet you're even using a fake southern accent. You're probably Austrian or Hungarian-"

"East are you okay?"

"I'm totally okay! I just figured out what the hell is going on here. M is a liar, and is being paid just like you, to be part of this unawesome prank. I totally just figured it out!" I turn around and look around the bar. "Austria, Hungary, come out, come out, wherever you are! I just exposed you're entire prank! Time to jump out and face the consequences that you look stupid!"

"I think you might have had a little too much to drink," M says still using that fake southern accent.

"East do you need me to walk you home?" Germany asks. "You might want to take a nap."

"I don't freaking need a nap! All I need is for Hungary or Austria to accept the consequences of their stupid prank failing! I'll turn this whole bar upside down if that's what it takes to find you loser!" I say picking a barstool up to hold over my head.

Sadly, I get kicked out just before I can do anything with that barstool I picked up. And sadly, West decided to stay in the bar with Miriam instead of joining me. I guess I'm going to have to expose this prank by picking up that second dandelion.

**A/N**

**I wrote this chapter while I was getting my laundry done. For some reason the Internet doesn't work in the laundry room. So, I was able to write this chapter without getting distracted. **

**Reviews are not necessary but they are appreciated. Being dyslexic means that I have to have a grammar mistake somewhere. Please let me know if ya see one. **


	9. Olly Olly Oxen Free

I hold my second dandelion. Strangely, nothing happens. I was positive this was all I needed to do to expose this stupid childlike prank.

"Olly-olly-ee oxen free!" I yell "Austria, Hungary, come and expose your prank now! You're not awesome enough to fool anybody!"

The world remains silent around me. Nothing jumps out to yell "Bazinga! We're totally are going to have a viral YouTube video now! I can't believe you fell for this prank, idiot!" or something similar.

I guess maybe I really have entered the Twilight Zone. Germany can flirt and get hot redheads from the dimwitted country of America, and I am capable of throwing a childlike tantrum that gets me kicked out of a public bar.

I guess I just need to accept the fact that I made a wish on a stupid flower that turned my brother into… whatever the hell he is now. Damn, I guess I'm really stupid since it took me that long to figure that out.

"Ugh! I feel like a stupid character in a Disney channel sitcom!" I scream out loud.

Like the last time I yelled out in this stupid field, nothing happens. I guess my life really isn't as exciting as I like to pretend it is in my Facebook statuses. I guess I'm not actually that awesome intimidating person people plot crazy pranks on to get revenge. I guess people really aren't jealous that I'm way more awesome than they are.

Maybe I'm not actually way more awesome than they are. Maybe nobody really is jealous of me. Maybe I don't actually have any real enemies 'cause nobody is really that jealous of me.

I guess knowing that I don't actually have any enemies anymore is what is really getting me down. Man, I would have enjoyed seeing the faces of Austria or Hungary when they found out that I just uncovered their silly prank before they could really embarrass me. Instead I just discovered….

"That if close my eyes like a sissy girl, and make a wish then blow on a dandelion it will come true," I say finishing my thoughts out loud.

Damn, my life really has taken a turn for the Disney channel. I can just pick a stupid dandelion, close my eyes, blow on it, and a stupid wish can come true. I thought the Disney motto was "When you wish upon a star".

Meh, the stupid motto doesn't matter. Stars or dandelions, I just discovered that wishes really do come true. Damn, I wish I had discovered this shit when I was a cute little kid.

If I discovered that then I would be filthy rich with all the milk money I would have taken from Hungary and Lithuania. I would be rolling in the dough or something.

Whatever my balls have dropped now. I'm not a little kid now. I guess discovering that wishes can come true now is better than not knowing.

I smile. "This is awesome."

Whoa, talk about endless possible outcomes I could invent by just looking like an idiot for a couple of seconds.

I could rewrite history and gain back my empire. Or I could rewrite today to make all the crazy shit that happened not happen. And then today would just be another day were I'm just my awesome self. Or I could rewrite the day I watched the Human Centipede to make it the day I did not watch the Human Centipede.

Crap, now I'm thinking of the Human Centipede again. I wish I never watched the horrible movie. It's way too disturbing. I should wish that I never saw it.

Wow! That's a great idea! I think I'll wish that I never actually watched the Human Centipede. That will stop the countless number of freaked up dreams I've had.

Ah, crap now I'm going to have a freaked up dream about the Human Centipede again.

I close my eyes. "I wish that I never watched the Human Centipede," I say then I blow on the dandelion.

Nothing happens. How long did it take for my first wish to come true? Didn't it take a little time for Germany to stop acting like himself?

Ugh, my memory is being too wimpy to remember this crap right now. Whatever, I guess the whole dandelion crap is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo after all.

"Stupid," I mumble to myself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

I guess West just broke out of his shell and finally decided to be outgoing or something. I guess this really isn't a prank or anything.

Or maybe it is a prank, and whoever set up this prank is an idiot. Seriously, now would be the perfect time to run out and scream "Gotcha Prussia! Who's the most awesome now? That's right this guy!".

That prank setter upper person has to be an idiot. Now is totally the perfect time for the big reveal part.

Wait a second. What if the person who set up this prank is recording this? What if I'm going to be a viral video on YouTube tomorrow morning?

"Ah crap that would suck," I say out loud picking up another dandelion from the ground.

Well, if this flower crap is all phony than I might as well make a few more fake wishes. That way I don't look as stupid when the viral video of me goes on the Internet.

Yeah, I know the whole wishing on flower thing is all sissy stuff, but do I really want a video of me wishing that I never watched Human Centipede on the Internet?

Nope, I don't. That's why I'm going to blow some wishes on some awesome stuff. I'll appear way more awesome in the Internet land if I do that.

I close my eyes. "I wish I had a robotic lemur that does whatever I say."

I open my eyes and pick up a new dandelion. My second wish is going to be awesome.

"I wish that America gave me his glasses," I say blowing on the flower. "Yeah, I know that there's no point in me having those things, but I just want them 'cause America wouldn't let anybody touch them."

Why did I just say that out loud? Ugh, whatever, I don't know. My third wish is going to be even better.

I close my eyes again. "I wish England would actually pluck his eyebrows."

I pick up a new dandelion.

"I wish I could drink without getting hangovers."

Yeah, those wishes would be awesome if they came true. I can't think of anything else worth wishes for at the moment. I think I'll call it a day, and go back home to watch television.

**A/N**

**Yeah, I know it's been awhile. Sorry, about that folks. Review, point out all the grammar mistakes, or whatever. Meh. **


	10. Roasty My Toasty

Bored. So very bored. Life is boring. I feel like I'm stuck watching two very old boring people playing an endless game of very boring Monopoly.

Yeah, just watching these geezers play Monopoly. If I were actually playing the very boring game with these high pants old guys it would at least be somewhat interesting. Like I'll create my own insane rules that they'll have to follow 'cause I'm awesome and they'll not.

For example, one of my rules would be that whenever somebody passes "Go" they'd have to take a shot of liquor. And another rule would be whenever somebody lands on "Go to Jail" they'd have to take off an article of clothing-

Wait! Do I really want to play this version of Monopoly I just made up with two old geezers?

UGH! Bad, bad, bad, bad mental images! Stupid brain! Stupid, stupid, imaginative brain of mine!

Okay, I'm being completely random. I'm not even playing a game of Monopoly, or watching a game of Monopoly. I just feel like I'm watching one because I'm so freaking bored right now.

West hasn't come home yet. I've finished all the liquor in the house. I can't find the remote anywhere. And worst of all I forgot the Wi-Fi password!

The horror of not having Internet is controlling me! I feel like I'm going to start hearing voices! These voices are probably going to tell me to do things!

What if the voices want me to say nice things? The horror! The horror! What if I have to say nice things about Austria's hair?

Noooo! That would be terrible! Everybody would assume that somebody is pretending to be me because I'm too awesome to say nice things about Austria's hair!

They would probably send me to an asylum! I can't go to an asylum! I'm too pretty for that!

"_Prussia! Prussia! Prussia! This is your awesome ringtone for your phone! Prussia! Prussia! Prussia! This ringtone is so awesome because it's sung by, Prussia! Prussia! Prussia!"_ my phone sings from my pocket.

I take my phone out of my pocket, look at who's calling, and groan. He better have a good reason for calling me. I was in the middle of letting my mind wander and think about how great I am.

Okay, that's a lie. I was actually going a little crazy from all the alcohol I consumed. But, I doubt anybody was able to notice my insanity. My awesomeness usually masks any flaws I may have.

"Hello?" I say into my phone.

"Sup bro!" America responds.

"What do you want? I'm trying to remember a Wi-Fi password right now."

"I always make my passwords 'roasty my toasty' no spaces 'cause its super easy to remember." He laughs.

"You do realize that you're going to have to change your password now?"

He ignores my question. "Anyhow dude, this is going to sound totally out of the blue, but I just realized something really important today."

"Did you realize that telling people your passwords because you think they sound amusing is actually a really bad idea?"

He ignores that question too. "You know how I wear glasses? And they make me look super smexy?" He laughs into the phone. "Smexy means smart and sexy-"

I cut him off. "I know what smexy means."

"Well, duh, of course ya know. You're the walking definition of it! Anywho, today I realized that the glasses aren't really working for me?"

This can't be happening. He has to be joking with me.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I got the sexy part no questions asked. But, the smart part? Well, that's a whole other story," America explains. "Today, I posted on Facebook 'all my friends have birthdays this year!' 'Cause I was like totally amazed when I saw on my calendar that all my friends have birthdays this year."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Anyway, as it turns out everybody has a birthday once a year. Well, expect for those folks born on leap day. They get a birthday every four years or something. Doesn't that suck?"

"Sure."

"I guess those leap year birthday people get really awesome birthday gifts or something since their birthday is such a rare occurrence. If I had to wait every four years for my birthday I would demand I get a super big party. Oh, like at Harry Potter world or something!"

I frown. He isn't able to see it though because this is a phone call. However, I doubt he would have noticed my frown anyway.

"Wasn't your birthday at that crazy place last year?"

He laughs really loud. I hope he's not having this phone call in public. If he were standing in public then he would probably be getting all sorts of weird looks. Well, if he was in public I doubt he would observe all those judgmental glares.

"Oh, yeah! England was super pissed that I decided to have a party there. I wonder why."

I shake my head. Silly, silly, American boy. Don't you know your own history? Okay, yep, of course you know your own history you love to brag about the high parts. Don't you at least understand the human emotion of depression?

"I wonder why too," I say to amuse him.

Seriously, America even I understand the human emotion of depression. I've never had to really battle with depression. Okay, I'll admit the whole having to live with Russia thing kind of hurt but I wouldn't call that depression.

"Wow, I really got off topic there." He chuckles. "Where was I before I got super off topic?"

"You were talking about Facebook."

"Oh yeah, anyway, after I posted that status I got all sorts of strange comments."

"Oh?"

"People were telling me that I was being dumb. Everybody has a birthday once a year. I responded back to those people by saying 'uh, leap year? Hello?' but I kept getting more strange comments. I think those people think I'm dumb."

"That's probably an understatement."

"So, anyway, while I was taking a shower earlier when I had this awesome idea. Want to hear it? Its really awesome!"

I sigh. "You're probably going to tell me it anyway."

"I decided that I should stop trying to embrace my smart side, and just focus on my sexy side. I'm going to stop wearing Texas to really get the point across that I'm really sexy."

"Okay?"

"Bro, I'm not saying that Texas isn't sexy or anything. 'Cause damn have you ever been to Houston during Rodeo time? That's some seriously eye candy dude. I'm just saying that having Texas represented as a pair of glasses really isn't working out for me."

Shit. He better not offer me those glasses of his. I know I wished for them early, but I don't actually want them.

"Glasses are the world's way of saying 'Dude, quadrant, hydrogen, photosynthesis, mitosis, sandwich, and other science words? Don't worry, bro, I know stuff!' Glasses are like insurance of intelligence."

"They also correct bad vision," I add.

He ignores my comment. Typical, typical, America. Hopefully, typical, typical, America isn't thinking about giving me his glasses.

"Anyway, now that I'm totally just focusing on looking good I won't be needing my glasses anymore. I'm not saying that people with glasses don't look good. I'm just saying that I can't exactly pull off the smartness side of glasses."

You better not be thinking about giving me these glasses Mr. America. I don't want your freaking glasses. If you give me your freaking glasses, then my mind is going to be even more confused. I'm not even going to bring up what you plan do with your stupid glasses, because I don't want you even thinking about giving them to me.

"Don't you need your glasses for your bad vision?"

Please, please, please say yes to this. I need some really good reason to demand that you keep your own stupid glasses.

He laughs. "Nah, I got contacts for that. And my vision really isn't that bad. Sure, I'm not legally able to drive without them, but I wouldn't call myself blind."

"See, you need your glasses for driving!"

"Not really. Police are okay with contacts. They also don't bother checking you for that. I've drove around without my glasses and contacts before. That was totally an accident. Anyway, as long as you don't break anything they won't pull ya over."

Yes! An opportunity for a subject change! Time to take!

"When did you drive around without your glasses or contacts?"

"Once I visited Canada and left my glasses at his place. I drove back home literally without my glasses. It was so hard."

"Did you get pulled over?"

"I didn't break anything, so nope. I did almost get pulled over though. Thankfully, what I learned from _Need For Speed_ saved my ass. I lost those police dudes within a matter of seconds. It was pretty awesome."

"Are you sure you didn't break anything?"

Yes, keep falling for the bait. Soon you will forget the real reason you called me, America. You're not going to give me those glasses of yours. You're not even going to remember to offer them to me.

"I don't think so. I did hear a lot of really loud noises that sounded like I ran over stuff, but I don't think I broke anything."

"That's good. I guess."

Wow, I'm stupid. I just realized that I could just find some bullshit excuse to hang up on America, and it would absolutely keep him from offering me his stupid glasses. Shit my life, I really should have realized this a whole lot sooner.

"Hey, America, I hate to hang up on this interesting conversation, but I have some deviled eggs in the oven that need tending too," I say before he can say anything else.

"You make deviled eggs in the oven? That's so weird. In America we just hard boil the eggs, unshell them, open them up, scoop out the yellow part, mix some stuff with the yellow part, and then put it back with the white part."

That how you make deviled eggs? I didn't know that. Crap, that probably means that he sees through this little lie of mine. Why do I feel like singing that 'this little lie of mine' part? Wait, this is America if you say anything with enough confidence he'll believe it.

"Well, your way of making deviled eggs sounds really weird to me. In Germany you just put some eggs in the oven and bam you got perfect deviled eggs!"

"Really? I should try that some time. What kind of cooking pan do you use?"

"A German one that you can only buy in Poland," I lie.

I really have no idea what I'm talking about, but America seems to believe this shit I'm saying. Well, having America believe what you tell him really isn't that impressive. That silly boy believes anything that's written on a Wiki page.

"I should go buy that. I bet I'll be able to find a used one on EBay."

"Yeah probably, anyway I really have to get those eggs before they get overcooked."

"That's probably a good idea. Oh, before you hang up I have a something I need to tell you!"

Shit.

"Oh?"

"I sent my glasses to ya. I figured since you're the walking definition of smexy you'll be able to pull off wearing them before then I ever could." He laughs again. "You should be getting them really soon. I paid extra dough to make them get to your house sooner!"

**A/N**

**Yeah, sorry for making y'all wait. –Insert some witty excuse about school and having too much work here- **

**Feel free to say hi, point out grammar mistakes, propose marriage, or whatever else ya do in these pretty things we call a review. It would really make my day. **


	11. Knock, Knock, Knock

America is sending me his stupid glasses. His stupid glasses that he needs for seeing stupid things. His stupid glasses that are actually prescription.

He wants me to have them to embrace my smart side. That way I can be the full package of smexy. How the hell am I supposed to wear prescription glasses that aren't my prescription?

My eyesight is perfect. I don't need no stupid glasses. If America were really a fan boy that admired my smexy side he wouldn't be giving me his stupid glasses that have his stupid prescription.

If America were really a fan of me he would know that my eyes are perfect and his prescription glasses would be totally pointless to me. That's why America is not a fan of me. He's just controlled by a stupid wish…

Wait, am I ready to admit that my wishing on dandelions have some sort of an effect in the outcome of the universe? Like I could become the ruler of the world easily because I discovered that wishing on dandelions really works?

Shit. I'm acting like I believe in this crap again. America explained to me that his Facebook friends made him realize that embracing his smart side is stupid because he's really stupid and there is no smart side to embrace.

Damn, I wish I could see his "all my friends have birthdays this year" hate comments he got. Seeing those would totally prove to me that the world finally got through to America and convinced him that he really is an idiot.

If I just knew the shitty Wi-Fi password, then I could view those comments. What the hell is the stupid Wi-Fi password? Why can't I remember it for shit.

_Knock, Knock, Knock _

Somebody is at the door. Hopefully its West coming back from that stupid bar where he talked to that stupid redhead lady. Hopefully, he didn't bring that stupid redhead lady home with him.

I am not mentally prepared to tell my little brother why bringing home strange ladies from bars is a bad idea.

"Hello?"

Ah, crap seriously?

"Is there anybody home?" asks an English accent at my door.

Maybe if I don't say anything he'll leave. I really don't want to deal with England right now. He can't be here because I wished him to pluck his eyebrows.

_Knock, Knock, Knock _

"Prussia? Are you home? I'm about to completely change my appearance and I feel that you should be the first to witness it."

Shit. Just go away, England. You can change your appearance in the comfort of your own home.

He gives an awkward laugh. "I know it's a little strange, but I really feel like you of all people should be aware of this dramatic change for me. Also I never actually used tweezers before. Well, I have used tweezers before. I just haven't used them on my face before."

Dammit. Just leave already. America sending me his glasses is already too much for me.

"I'm probably talking to an empty house right now," he calls. "If you're just in the bathroom or something Prussia I can wait. If you're not home, then I can still wait."

I bet I can outwait you. You're going to leave, because I don't want to deal with your bullshit right now.

"I promised myself that I wasn't going to leave this country until my face was dramatically different. If I go home I'll never do this, and I feel like I need to do this."

Crap. I guess I should get the door for him. He's never going to leave.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

"Hello? Am I just talking to an empty house?" I hear a noise that sounds like he hit himself in the face. "Oh bloody hell. You're right, flying mint bunny, I should have called first."

I hope that whatever thingy he hallucinates tells him to bloody leave my bloody house. I don't need Germany coming home to crazy England talking to himself outside our front door.

"_Prussia! Prussia! Prussia! This is your awesome ringtone for your phone! Prussia! Prussia! Prussia! This ringtone is so awesome because it's sung by, Prussia! Prussia! Prussia!" _my phone sings from my pocket.

Crap. Please tell me that he didn't hear that. I bet its England calling.

"_Prussia! Prussia! Prussia! This is your awesome ringtone for your phone! Prussia! Prussia! Prussia! This ringtone is so awesome because it's sung by, Prussia! Prussia! Prussia!" _my phone repeats.

I'm not going to take it out of my pocket. I'm just going to pretend that I'm not home, and England is going to go away.

"He isn't picking up, flying mint bunny. He's probably just in the shower or something." He laughs. "I hear his ringtone playing inside his house. It sort of reminds me of the time his phone went of during that meeting he wasn't actually invited to. Do you remember that, flying mint bunny?"

"I was so invited to that meeting!" I yell out.

Shit! I blew it.

"Oh, good you're home. Can you get the door?"

I go to the door. Open it. And stare at England with the most pissed off expression I have.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Hello, to you too." He smiles. "I was looking in the mirror earlier and realized that I've looked the same for years-"

"We all have."

"Yes, but looking in the mirror made me realize that I've been looking at the same horrible eyebrows every time I saw my refection…" Shit! "-I do like to keep the appearance of not caring what people thing about me. But that's only just an appearance. The truth is, all the comments of about my big eyebrows-"

I cut him off. "Seriously bother the shit out of you, because you know that your eyebrows look like somebody suck some caterpillars on your face with crazy glue. Is that it?"

He sighs. "I was hoping you would tell me that my eyebrows aren't as bad as I think they are."

"Your eyebrows are probably way worse than you think. You probably are just under the illusion that you think your eyebrows aren't bad. You know your eyebrows are bad. You have just been in denial. The only thing that would make your eyebrows worse would be if they were married in the middle."

"What?"

"Unibrow."

"Oh." He gives an awkward laugh. "Would you mind helping me pluck my eyebrows? If anybody has to witness this great event in my life, then it would have to be you."

Shit.

"Fine. Come inside."

Shit. Why did I quickly agree to this?

"I really appreciate this."

"Yeah… whatever. I'm awesome. I know."

At least supervising England pluck his eyebrows would be better than being bored.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**School happened. What can I say? That's why my chapter updates happen at strange times. **

**I'll fix any spelling mistake pointed out to me for any chapter. **


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